Post fast – Reflection and happiness.

Weight as of March 25th: 355 lbs

Weight as of Day One (April 15th): 341.8 lbs

Weight as of Day Ten (April 25th): 327.3 lbs

Weight lost during fast: 14.5 lbs

Total weight lost since March 25th: 27.7 lbs

Sorry that I hadn’t gotten back to report everything! Its been a busy past few days! I’m so very excited to say that my fast was WILDLY successful, and that I am still feeling excellent!

Over the past day or so I’ve been silently reflecting on what I had gone through, what I learned, and how I still feel about my experiences with my very first juicing fast. First of all, I had to face a lot of my inner demons on this fast, and that in and of itself was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever put myself through. To be home alone and bored and not being able to eat, but WANTING to eat anyways had caused me to look at myself in the mirror and say “you have a problem eating when you’re bored, and you need to do something about it.” That is hard when you’ve remained ignorant to your problems for so long. I had to face the inner demon telling me that it won’t matter, because I will probably just go back to eating poorly afterwards anyways; I simply just told that one to f**k off, because I can and WILL eat healthier. So far, so good!

Along with recognizing my own demons, I was also able to find more inner strength than I thought possible. I found the strength to ignore the devil on my shoulder who told me it was okay to give up before the ten days were over. I had the strength to listen to the angel on the other shoulder when she said she was proud of me for pushing through those tough moments. I finally had the strength to look at myself and say “Goodness, you are beautiful and you need to always know that about yourself.”

I’m beyond thrilled that I still have an intense sense of motivation that hasn’t wavered since I finished my fast four days ago. I love getting up in the mornings and walking, and I love eating better. I love knowing that this week I’ll be doing my work out video AT LEAST three times and parking further from my building at work to get a little more walking in. I love knowing that most likely I’ll be doing another fast (probably only a week long) in May. I also love being able to proudly write a blog saying that I’ve done well lately. I love being so positive about how everything is going.

Most of all, I love that this fast helped give me a second chance at motivation and happiness. I can’t wait to see what is in store for me next.

Love,

Elysia

 

Phoenix Rising

In Greek Mythology the Phoenix rises out of the ashes, no longer its former self. New, reborn.

Last year I longed to emerge from the searing coals of my own personal hell.  As the brutal flames charred my existence I questioned as to whether I could escape from the ominous destruction.  I reluctantly greeted 2012 unemployed and frustrated, however, April showers blew in a new and exciting position for me and at last the clouds departed and the storm passed as quickly as it had come. I had entered into a world of  calm, this was unknown territory for me as I have spent my life in crisis mode. I wrestled my internal being with the notion that perhaps this was too good to be true.   As my path in life has always duplicated, the skies soon darkened and the simmering coals of disaster were fanned to a blinding degree as my husband lay in ICU.  Four months of touch and go, live or die, no hope and hope, my anger raged.  A medical mishap, a doctor’s carelessness, a family in crisis.  With medical bills mounting I began to surmise that perhaps I should not lay them next to each other as they seemed to be replicating like spring rabbits.  The new year brought more concerns as my year-long project at work was winding to a close.  It was time for a change…

I am not certain the exact point at which I had stopped to evaluate what I had allowed the previous year to do to me but suddenly the realization was there that I had eaten my way through 2012 like a caterpillar preparing for its pupa stage.  Everything that I had blogged about for two years, every positive change that I had made had been replaced by hospital food and limited time.  NO! NO! NO!  I was not about to sit in the hot ashes, I was not ready to admit defeat, I was not going to ignore a 30+ pound weight gain. I AM BETTER THAN A PIZZA!!!  Once again the clouds departed and the stormy assault upon me was replaced with an illuminating spark of light.

On March 25th I joined Weight Watchers and recommitted myself to detoxing from process foods.  I dusted off the Jack Lalanne juicer and reached into my mental bag of tools for the willpower to keep going.  Like the Phoenix I feel myself rising out of the ashes.  Eighteen pounds lighter I can already feel my wings beginning to spread…I am once again taking flight.  New, reborn.

Cheers!
~Beth

 

Dave, thank you for giving me a little push and reminding me that I am important, even when sometimes I forget.