Over the past few months, there’s been many changes in my life. New boyfriend, new apartment, and new experiences. Unfortunately, accompanying that is weight gain. Not much, but enough to notice, and enough to where I don’t even want to have pictures taken of me. It’s caused me to be depressed, even with happy things going on in my life.
The weight gain is a fault of my own. I’ve once again taken to drinking energy drinks, soda, and indulging in sweets and other junk foods. Instead of making healthy choices at work for lunch, I grab whatever looks delicious and it always ends up unhealthy.
I don’t know what changed today. I went to the cafeteria at work, and I had full intentions of getting the fish and chips that they were offering with a Pepsi, but I kid you not, a voice in my head (my subconcious?) said “Today, I choose life” and without even thinking about it, I went to the salad bar, made a healthy salad, and grabbed a water bottle. By the time I got back to my desk, I was so confused on what clicked in my head, but was so very happy at the same time. I took my metformin pill (which I’ve been neglecting lately) and had a wondferful, filling lunch.
In the season of sweets, I don’t know what’s going to happen…I would like to say I’m going to turn down everything sweet and amazing and that I’ll work out as many hours a week as possible, but I don’t want to say that, and then not do it. So I’m taking it one meal at a time…”Am I going to make this meal a healthy one?”
Being that my schedule changed again, I now get out of work at 3:30. I think I will once again take advantage of the gym at my work; after all, I’m incredibly lucky to have access to a free gym. I’m not sure exactly how often I’ll go, or when I will start, but I’ll get that plan going. It’s been too cold lately to just go outside and walk, and I’m tired of not doing anything. Treadmill for 30 minutes? Don’t mind if I do….
I want to be a success story…I want people to read or hear of my story and tell themselves that they can do it too. I don’t want to be insecure anymore. I want to feel free in my body…not trapped because of it. Most of all, I want to just stop saying that I’m going to do something, then not do it. I want to go all the way….get to my goal weight….and live a happier life.
I’m back to posting as much as I can, to document myself each step of the way; on good days and bad days. I don’t have a scale at the moment ,so I might not be able to track that side of progress for a small time, but that’s okay. That might be best anyways so that I don’t get discouraged. I don’t care what my starting weight is. I just care that it’s never going to be this high again.
I have missed all of you greatly, and hope everyone is doing well.