A few weeks ago that guy that lives in my house decided that two of our chihuahuas were much too cute to sleep in their kennels and that they should snuggle in our bed. I warned him that I have asthma and allergies but not only THAT, this was a HUGE MISTAKE…kinda like the one where you put the ring on the finger…it is easy to put it on but getting it off is filled with all sorts of misery. Wow, that is a whole blog in itself. Tre and Zack teamed up with the man and snuggled down in the blankets while I sat there looking like Ferris Bueller’s sister Jeanie when Ferris drives off for his exciting, adventurous day off and she is stuck at school suffering.
I climbed into bed and my 4 1/2 pound chihuahua Tre was delighted that I would be joining him and was insistent upon snuggling as close as he possibly could. I scooted over just an inch or so to get his stilty legs out of my back and he was determined to follow. Lovely. *Nose begins to stuff up. Good night.
In the morning I barked at the man who lives in my house that having the dogs sleep in the bed was NOT going to happen again but it was too late, the dogs had already decided that this was the best thing since Science Diet Small Bites and they were as happy as can be. The next morning I was awakened by Tre standing on my shoulder staring me in the face, this is NOT ok. When I left for the ocean I gave strict instructions that the problem that was created better be solved upon my return because I do not want any more dogs sleeping in my bed (one is quite enough thank you). I love my little babies and they are pampered little poopsies but HELL NO, they are not sleeping in my bed. As it turns out the dogs howled the two nights I was gone and wanted nothing to do with the kennels that they have slept in their ENTIRE lives. Great.
Thanks Mr. Ohtheyaresocuteletemsleepinthebed!
This brings me to last night. Chico, our half dead chihuahua, after a week of the other dogs not being in their kennel, suddenly has the realization that something is going on without him. Chico is our ancient, grumpy chihuahua that pretty much hates the world and everyone in it. As I crawled into bed with the other three clowns and pulled the covers up, finally got all nice and comfy, cosy….it began. The howling. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. That punk just discovered that the other two were having some sort of fun that he was missing out on. I didn’t even look at the man who lives in my home because I was certain I would have turned him to stone. I simply stated, “I am NOT dealing with that.” That was his cue to jump out of bed and handle the mess that he created by taking the poopsies away from the now not-so-dead acting alpha male. Out of fear he quickly hopped out of bed eager to soothe Chico to avoid any further wrath from me. As he climbed back in bed and all got quiet…it began again. The howling. Once again he jumped out of bed most likely out of pure terror, I had begun to growl myself. Back to bed he came. The howling. This time I jumped out of bed debating on whether or not it was time to find an open emergency vet to put my half dead chihuahua to sleep, it was seeming like the right thing to do….but no. I went back to bed, got all comfy, Tre stuck his stilty legs in my back and I closed my eyes. The howling. OH MY $%&$#@* (INSERT MORE EXPLETIVES HERE)!!!! The dog won. I let my half dead chihuahua beat me. He was allowed out of his kennel and got to sleep downstairs under his favorite blanket, and he was quite content to do so. You have got to be kidding me. Since when has a dog become my ruler? Um…last night.
Do not even think that this story is over. Oh no. It is just beginning. The man who lives in my house doesn’t even realize it yet, and that is the very best part. I have a 3,050 sq foot home with an extra bonus room upstairs where the dogs are supposed to sleep in their kennels. The bonus room has…A COUCH! I am thinking that a week-end would be a perfect time for Mr. Ohtheyaresocuteletemsleepinthebed to sleep in the same room as the poopsies and break them of the bad habit that he created. If he doesn’t want to share that particular room with my babies, there are two other living rooms he can sleep in. Options, options, don’t you just love options!
As I blog I am smiling a sadistic smile this morning from a lack of productive sleep and the thought that by the end of this week-end I will have won!!! Yep, feeling like Wonder Woman! Bring it gentlemen!!!
And with that wonderfully crazed, happy thought…I am going to go juice my fruit and veggies and hop on my elliptical! Oh… and I got a new blender last night so I can make some wonderful soup and smoothies! Yeah buddy!