Getting Cultured

And no, I am not talking sour cream.  I am talking the arts.  Last night I got all gussied up for a special evening…let’s first talk about getting gussied up for a minute.  My boys both came to my rescue and I have to write about this because I feel so fortunate to have  these two exceptional sons. I started to flat-iron my hair and I was having trouble with the back, I reluctantly asked my boys for help and my oldest son jumped right in.  There on the left you can see Scott is in deep concentration as he works his magic with the flat-iron.  Then there was the nail fiasco…I tried painting my own nails…there is a reason why people get paid to do this service and I should have left this to the professionals. The first time I painted them, yes, the first time, I thought I would be all suave about it and hurried through thinking that I could clean up the sides of the cuticle myself…ladies, you know EXACTLY what I am talking about here.  Here I am with the polish remover and it is taking the polish off everywhere but my freaking cuticle.  And then one red nail touches the other red nail and pretty soon I looked like an episode of C.S.I..  Do you know what it looks like when you put on red nail polish and then have to remove it?  I looked like a pink elephant, it wasn’t pretty.  After using a gallon of nail polish remover, I painted my nails again, this time I pulled it off like Rembrandt. : )  Anthony, my 15-year old, wiped off a little mistake and then stood there blow drying my fingernails while I perused CNN.  It was an outstanding team effort.

So, what was all the fuss about?  The Arts.  I was invited to attend an art event as my friend’s guest and I really wanted to look my best. I am not a very cultured individual.  I am not well read, I have never really traveled and for the longest time I couldn’t fathom some of the price tags placed on artwork (Cut me some slack here, I wasn’t raised around it at all). Would all the cultured people please read further before unfollowing me…

My friend handles all the rotating art move ins and move outs in a very large building downtown Seattle.  When I worked with her, there were times that I covered her and I had to handle the ins and outs.  When I saw what some of the artwork insured for, I nearly fell off of my chair…now keep in mind…I have a sense of humor that isn’t always deemed appropriate.  I was pretty convinced that some of this art was done by barn animals blindfolded and it was being insured for tens of thousands of dollars.  I thought to myself…I am in the wrong line of business so I decided to make some of my own artwork and submit it to my friend for approval.  I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why I couldn’t get her to display my artwork.  My friend would be typing away in her cubical and I would slide her one of my hopefully soon-to-be famous pieces of art and tell her that I want it sold for a cool ten million and she would tell me to cut it out.  Then I would laugh my ass off saying,  “Well that piece downstairs made it in here so I am pretty certain my piece belongs there, too!”  She would just shake her head and say, “You are SO bad!”  She got that right.

Here is a few examples of the type of work I have tried to submit:  I have titled the work of art on the right STICKMAN and I really think it should be insured for about $5000.  This masterpiece was made with a Bic Clic Stic medium point and you can see that the color really pops on this paper.  If you look closely you can see a fine line of red nail polish that runs right through STICKMAN’S face which is a rarity.

To the left I have titled my work  THE SCRIBBLE.  I have seen many of these go for twenty grand so I am thinking I should be in the upwards of that.  Again, this fine piece was also made with a Bic Clic Stic and is a one of a kind.  Notice that the lines curve and bend and sometimes cross over one another (there was just a little bit of extra effort there).  Oh and look, there is red nail polish running through that little beauty, too, that should only add to the value.  It’s kind of like the Da Vinci Code isn’t it?!

Ok, so eventually I started to actually look at some of the artwork displayed, well, only because my friend would drag me down after each move in and try to convince me that there is value in it.  At first I just walked around grumbling about how unimpressed I was by the so-called art…AND THEN…a piece came in that blew my mind and I was hooked.  There was a huge collage that an artist made of a woman holding a basket and it was done entirely out of postage stamps.  POSTAGE STAMPS!  I was completely amazed by the effort and the beauty of the artwork and from that point on I became more eager to view the rotating shows.  Pretty soon I found myself going to check out the rotating shows on my own and taking in each piece one by one.  This doesn’t mean that there weren’t one or two pieces that I was still convinced was done by blindfolded farm animals…

Now I am a lover of art and I have my dear friend to thank for turning me on to our local artists. It was that same dear friend who took me to the Seattle art event last night in support of a local theatre group and I must say I am getting a bit cultured.  The wine was wonderful, the hors de’ oeuvres were fabulous (I only ate the healthy options… don’t hate, wine is a healthy option).  

Thank you again to my friend who was also able to get a very rare teeth smile out of me (this may be one of only a few ever taken).  I have very few great nights and I have to say last night was a terrific, much-needed night out.  For the first time in a long time I will actually say that I don’t think I look too shabby!

: )  Go me!

Confession:  Later in the evening I did get ahold of nachos BUT, yes BUT… I only had a green smoothie for breakfast and a chicken breast at lunch time.  While that doesn’t make it the perfect choice, when you end up somewhere and your choices are limited due to gluten intolerance…Yes, I ate the damn nachos.  You betcha!  : )




5 thoughts on “Getting Cultured

  1. Beth …. girl …. I think you need to find another creative outlet … maybe writing. 😀

    Great winning attitude about the nachos — speaking of that — I WANT SOME! 😮

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