A promise to myself

This post is a serious one (mostly…), and has been about a month in the works. I’ve done a lot of contemplating, questioning, and debating over my various reasons and excuses to give up on losing weight, and I’ve decided I’m just done. I’m done taking things away from myself. Being obese, I’ve taken away my self-confidence, I’ve taken away my energy, I’ve taken away being able to walk into any store and shop for cute clothes. At the end of the day, I have taken those things away, and I am the only one who can give them back.

As mom and I have mentioned, my sister is getting married in June 2013. For the past few weeks, I have thought of how I just need to lose weight for the wedding for pictures, etc. As I think about it more and more, I would rather lose weight to give myself back the opportunity to wear a REALLY CUTE dress and look great with my date (whoever that may be…*cough*). I want to give myself those things, and in order to do that, I have to take better care of myself.

It has been really hard the past few weeks, as I’ve really bagan to uncover the inner demons that I have when losing weight. I am an emotional eater, which I don’t like to admit, and I now recognize that when someone (anyone) tells me to lose weight, I want to do the opposite and stay the same. Realizing these, I know that I’m the only one keeping these demons alive…I’m the one making the decision to emotionally eat and ignore those who give me advice. That’s all me, and only me. No one is keeping me from exercising, and no one is force feeding me naughty foods.

I know it seems as though these things have smacked me in the face before and said “DUH!” but I would rather recognize my problems again than say “forget it.” In thinking of things that have gone great in the past, I really did enjoy eating just raw foods (primal eating). I had so much more energy, and came up with some amazing recipes. I’d like to start eating that way again, because I simply enjoyed it. I also miss blogging every day. I think about the blog so often, but the time after work seems to fly by, and next thing I know, I’m an hour late for bedtime. But I want to try much harder to blog more, and I ALWAYS appreciate all of your continued support!

This is me, proclaiming ONCE AND FOR ALL, that I will do this; I will give myself my health back, I will give myself the ability to have more energy, and I PROMISE MYSELF that NO MATTER WHAT, I will love myself from thick to thin. 🙂

Really quick! Today’s foods so far:

Naked! Protien Zone drink, Rockstar energy drink, english muffin breakfast sandwich with egg and bacon on it, and spinach salad for lunch (with tomatos, cucumbers, hard boiled eggs, olives, sunflower seeds, and rosemary vinegar). I am going to a friend’s house for dinner, and she’s making healthy portabella ravioli.

I think today has been great, and I’m very happy for the day, and the opportunity to give more to myself, rather than take things away.

I’ll see you all again tomorrow. I PROMISE!




20 thoughts on “A promise to myself

  1. Good Luck! I’m trying to lose myself. It always helps to do things with others or a support group! I’m here if you need to talk or need some motivation, cause the goddess knows I need it! I too am a stress eater or I don’t eat at all which can also make you gain. Any who, I’ve been working on some workout schedules if you’re interested. 🙂
    Have a magical day~

      • I love walking (weather permitting since I have so many allergies and asthma). I also have a walking DVD that’s really good. I will get the name when I get home and let you know. You can select how many miles you want to do and its basically march in place aerobic type stuff. I also love pilates and yoga which seemed to help me become leaner in the past. I just need to get motivated and stick to it like I did years ago!!! I keep falling off the wagon! I also just bought a Jillian Michael’s DVD “No more trouble zones” or something like that. She really kicks butt, however I love the burn! Hope these help!

  2. The journey begins. Congrats! Very inspiring. In the end, it is all about you. Can’t take the (physical) journey with you, but can be on your cheer team. You go girl! 🙂

  3. Good for you babe! No one does anything, until they do things for them-self! I didn’t quit smoking until I wanted to, no matter how many boys gagged and complained lol. I think you should really look into the Paleo diet though. I have had friends drop massive weight on it and it is because they are eating well, but also exercising more with the added energy it affords them.

    • I did the Paleo diet for a short time, and LOVED IT. I had so much energy and felt like I was ready to take on the world! Somehow, of course, I fell off the wagon. I would love to go back to Paleo, and definitely need help with recipes and such! Thanks for you support!!!

  4. You should be so proud of your honesty and willingness to share your experience with others! I know you are helping others, including me, consider a different perspective no matter how comfortable ours is.

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