So, I was scared to come back to this blog because I was scared people wouldn’t have much to say to me. I’ve started and stopped losing weight so many times that just thinking about it makes my head spin and my stomach hurt.
But, here I am again, trying harder than I ever have (no joke), and just wanting to let you guys know that I’ve never given up! It’s been tough, but I’ve got a good thing going, and right now I am 12.6lbs down from my recent restart. Mom and I are walking every single morning and doing Weight Watchers online. It’s been a great success so far, and I’m actually ENJOYING it – not seeing it as work. Imagine that??
I’ve also set some short term and long term goals that are completely attainable for me. WW sets goals in small increments, and I’m exactly 5lbs away from my first one. MY personal short term goal aside from that is to not go onto Facebook until I lose my first 100lbs. I’m 12.6% of the way there, and getting excited. I even told my youngest brother that I will give him $50 if I cave and go on Facebook. So far, so good!
My long term goal is to be completely physically fit. Not thin, not skinny. FIT. I want a six-pack that guys would be jealous of. I want to be able to do pull ups, sit ups, push ups, all without any problem. I want to feel the burn of my muscles getting stronger, and know that if I ever needed to, I could defend myself. It’s not about being able to wear a bikini, and it’s not about being the skinniest person…I want to be healthy and active. THAT is my long term goal, no matter WHAT the scale says.
Anytime I’m walking and my muscles hurt, I smile because I know that I’m getting stronger already. For the first time in my life, I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I am seeing this as possible, and not just another feeble attempt. I can’t explain it, and I know I sound like a broken record, but I really feel like this is finally the time that I take control and conquer myself and my issues. I have had a constant feeling of happiness and success for the past week and a half since I started, and I don’t feel overwhelmed any more about the amount of weight I have to lose.
So, this is the last time I will have another post about starting over. I’m done starting over. I’m done giving up. I’m done being a disappointment to myself. I’m ready to get going and literally work my ass off. I’m ready to work harder than I ever have in my life. I’m ready to be sore every single morning and being proud that I’ve worked hard to get there. I’m ready to be the person I’ve always imagined I’d be.
And what a relief it is to know I’m on my way 🙂