In Greek Mythology the Phoenix rises out of the ashes, no longer its former self. New, reborn.
Last year I longed to emerge from the searing coals of my own personal hell. As the brutal flames charred my existence I questioned as to whether I could escape from the ominous destruction. I reluctantly greeted 2012 unemployed and frustrated, however, April showers blew in a new and exciting position for me and at last the clouds departed and the storm passed as quickly as it had come. I had entered into a world of calm, this was unknown territory for me as I have spent my life in crisis mode. I wrestled my internal being with the notion that perhaps this was too good to be true. As my path in life has always duplicated, the skies soon darkened and the simmering coals of disaster were fanned to a blinding degree as my husband lay in ICU. Four months of touch and go, live or die, no hope and hope, my anger raged. A medical mishap, a doctor’s carelessness, a family in crisis. With medical bills mounting I began to surmise that perhaps I should not lay them next to each other as they seemed to be replicating like spring rabbits. The new year brought more concerns as my year-long project at work was winding to a close. It was time for a change…
I am not certain the exact point at which I had stopped to evaluate what I had allowed the previous year to do to me but suddenly the realization was there that I had eaten my way through 2012 like a caterpillar preparing for its pupa stage. Everything that I had blogged about for two years, every positive change that I had made had been replaced by hospital food and limited time. NO! NO! NO! I was not about to sit in the hot ashes, I was not ready to admit defeat, I was not going to ignore a 30+ pound weight gain. I AM BETTER THAN A PIZZA!!! Once again the clouds departed and the stormy assault upon me was replaced with an illuminating spark of light.
On March 25th I joined Weight Watchers and recommitted myself to detoxing from process foods. I dusted off the Jack Lalanne juicer and reached into my mental bag of tools for the willpower to keep going. Like the Phoenix I feel myself rising out of the ashes. Eighteen pounds lighter I can already feel my wings beginning to spread…I am once again taking flight. New, reborn.
Dave, thank you for giving me a little push and reminding me that I am important, even when sometimes I forget.