Okay, okay…Here I am!

So, I was scared to come back to this blog because I was scared people wouldn’t have much to say to me. I’ve started and stopped losing weight so many times that just thinking about it makes my head spin and my stomach hurt.

But, here I am again, trying harder than I ever have (no joke), and just wanting to let you guys know that I’ve never given up! It’s been tough, but I’ve got a good thing going, and right now I am 12.6lbs down from my recent restart. Mom and I are walking every single morning and doing Weight Watchers online. It’s been a great success so far, and I’m actually ENJOYING it – not seeing it as work. Imagine that??

I’ve also set some short term and long term goals that are completely attainable for me. WW sets goals in small increments, and I’m exactly 5lbs away from my first one. MY personal short term goal aside from that is to not go onto Facebook until I lose my first 100lbs. I’m 12.6% of the way there, and getting excited. I even told my youngest brother that I will give him $50 if I cave and go on Facebook. So far, so good!

My long term goal is to be completely physically fit. Not thin, not skinny. FIT. I want a six-pack that guys would be jealous of. I want to be able to do pull ups, sit ups, push ups, all without any problem. I want to feel the burn of my muscles getting stronger, and know that if I ever needed to, I could defend myself. It’s not about being able to wear a bikini, and it’s not about being the skinniest person…I want to be healthy and active. THAT is my long term goal, no matter WHAT the scale says.

Anytime I’m walking and my muscles hurt, I smile because I know that I’m getting stronger already. For the first time in my life, I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I am seeing this as possible, and not just another feeble attempt. I can’t explain it, and I know I sound like a broken record, but I really feel like this is finally the time that I take control and conquer myself and my issues. I have had a constant feeling of happiness and success for the past week and a half since I started, and I don’t feel overwhelmed any more about the amount of weight I have to lose.

So, this is the last time I will have another post about starting over. I’m done starting over. I’m done giving up. I’m done being a disappointment to myself. I’m ready to get going and literally work my ass off. I’m ready to work harder than I ever have in my life. I’m ready to be sore every single morning and being proud that I’ve worked hard  to get there. I’m ready to be the person I’ve always imagined I’d be.

And what a relief it is to know I’m on my way 🙂

Today was a success!

I am quite happy to honestly say that today has been a huge success for me! I ate good foods, worked out, and drank plenty of water. Here’s the info:


1 banana, 1 orange, chicken (general tso and buffalo [store bought]), broccoli beef (homemade), 1.5 cups frozen fruit, 4 cups earl grey tea, and 48 oz of water.


Time: 28:12

Strides: 1,798

Calories: 190.2

Average RPM:32

Weights: 5lbs, 4 minutes per arm of constant reps.

I feel great about the work out, and I am quite happy that I stuck with it for almost 30 minutes. I’m pleased with the food, as it’s much better than what I normally eat, and the portions were a lot smaller. I feel like the water and tea really helped cleanse my system out, sort of making me feel like I’m starting off with a clean slate. It feels fantastic!

I have finally decided that Monday isn’t a good day for me to weigh in, but I plan on changing the day to Friday. I know I keep putting it off, and to be completely honest, it’s because I’m embarrassed that I haven’t been trying like I should. I’ve been MAJORLY slacking, and I really want to try harder this week, and get off to a good start. So, Friday March 16th will be Weigh-In #1, and I will weigh in every Friday afterwards. Thanks for bearing with me on the weigh ins…I know I have promised it 4 or 5 times, but my emotions keep getting in the way. I really think I’m ready now 🙂

I also wanted to let you all know that I am back on Twitter! My username is writing2dream, and I would love to follow some fellow bloggers! I have only been on there a few days, but it’s good to be back!

I’m off to settle down for the night, but I hope you all have a wonderful Monday! I’ll post again tomorrow!