Beth’s Goals

After removing ever possible stitch of clothing and exhaling any remaining oxygen out of my body I weighed in at 223 lbs this morning. This time last year I weighed 202 lbs and was so excited to be in a size 14. To some of you reading this right now you may think that I shouldn’t have been excited by a size 14 but let me go ahead and tell the world my ugly secret…it was only four years ago that I weighed a hefty 265 lbs. Yep, I just put that out there for the world to see.

At 265 lbs I couldn’t walk without my asthma kicking in, I had patellar fasciitis that caused my every step to be painful, my sleep apnea was out of control, I suffered from unbearable back pain and I was severely depressed. This was pretty much a wake up call for me, actually it was more like a “What have you done to yourself?” moment.

What I didn’t know was that my weight gain may have been causing damage to the optic nerve in my left eye which atrophied at the chiasm. I have lost all peripheral vision my left eye. I am currently being treated for Intracranial Hypertension even though my diagnoses is still unclear. That is a real story teller there, when you are so heavy your spinal pressure is shooting up so high that it’s causing damage to your eyes. As Doctor Phil would say, “Time to get real.”. While this doesn’t happen to everyone, it shouldn’t have to happen to anyone.

Where do I go from here? I would like to see myself around 125 lbs for my 5’2″ frame and I am very confident that I can reach this goal. I also recognize there isn’t a quick fix. No magic wand is going to be waved and melt away the fat, and I think once you reach that place then you are ready to begin your journey.

If you are reading this thinking that you just can’t do it, I am here to tell you that you can.