The good, the bad, and the motivated.

Let’s just get right down to it, and start off with the bad portion of this post…

Last week was bad news. I did not eat well, which was completely stupid considering I had done so well on my fast. It made me lazy, and it made me not care. GIGANTIC NO-NO. I really wish I would have stayed strong and carried on my good habits, because I know I would have probably lost at least another pound or two. But, I accept what I did (or didn’t do, in this case), and I am ready to move back into a positive direction.

I swear…one day I won’t have to come back here and confess to you guys that I’ve messed up. Apparently today is just not that day.

Alrighty, now for the good! The only positive that came out of my ridiculous eating last week is that I was so much more aware of my body. I truly didn’t eat until I was stuffed; I ate until I was content. I drank way more water than I normally do, and I stayed away from things that I KNEW would not make me feel good, i.e. tons of bread. So, I didn’t COMPLETELY throw out my entire week of juicing – I took a lot of what I had learned into consideration.

My motivation returned full force after the weekend, and here I am to say that I’m back to doing well. I didn’t count my points today, but I know that I a pretty close to my daily points, and I feel much better after drinking a bunch of water. It’s also hot (for us Washingtonians at least…) so instead of going on the elliptical I have decided to do some strength training and give my muscles a good workout. Despite it being about 85 degrees outside and probably 80 degrees in the house, I might still do a little on the elliptical. I’d love to REALLY earn my shower tonight. I’m just not sure my stomach would jive well with the heat. Ten minutes is better than nothing!

Ultimately, I feel great. Mom and I will be waking up early again tomorrow for our walk, and I plan on going back to religiously counting my points. I really am scared to weigh myself, but I probably will in the next day or two. It’s better to know what I’m at rather than staying in the dark.

Well, I’m off to get my tennis shoes and spend a little time on the elliptical (I made up my mind while writing…). I hope everyone is doing well! See ya soon 🙂



***P.S. – I just got off the elliptical. After already doing 60+ arm curls with 10lb weights, I did 32 MINUTES on the elliptical. Over 200 calories burnt, nearly 2,000 strides taken. Holy hell…I DEFINITELY deserve my shower, especially with it being 80 degrees in the house. Peace out, ladies and gents. I’ll post in the next few days.

Post fast – Reflection and happiness.

Weight as of March 25th: 355 lbs

Weight as of Day One (April 15th): 341.8 lbs

Weight as of Day Ten (April 25th): 327.3 lbs

Weight lost during fast: 14.5 lbs

Total weight lost since March 25th: 27.7 lbs

Sorry that I hadn’t gotten back to report everything! Its been a busy past few days! I’m so very excited to say that my fast was WILDLY successful, and that I am still feeling excellent!

Over the past day or so I’ve been silently reflecting on what I had gone through, what I learned, and how I still feel about my experiences with my very first juicing fast. First of all, I had to face a lot of my inner demons on this fast, and that in and of itself was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever put myself through. To be home alone and bored and not being able to eat, but WANTING to eat anyways had caused me to look at myself in the mirror and say “you have a problem eating when you’re bored, and you need to do something about it.” That is hard when you’ve remained ignorant to your problems for so long. I had to face the inner demon telling me that it won’t matter, because I will probably just go back to eating poorly afterwards anyways; I simply just told that one to f**k off, because I can and WILL eat healthier. So far, so good!

Along with recognizing my own demons, I was also able to find more inner strength than I thought possible. I found the strength to ignore the devil on my shoulder who told me it was okay to give up before the ten days were over. I had the strength to listen to the angel on the other shoulder when she said she was proud of me for pushing through those tough moments. I finally had the strength to look at myself and say “Goodness, you are beautiful and you need to always know that about yourself.”

I’m beyond thrilled that I still have an intense sense of motivation that hasn’t wavered since I finished my fast four days ago. I love getting up in the mornings and walking, and I love eating better. I love knowing that this week I’ll be doing my work out video AT LEAST three times and parking further from my building at work to get a little more walking in. I love knowing that most likely I’ll be doing another fast (probably only a week long) in May. I also love being able to proudly write a blog saying that I’ve done well lately. I love being so positive about how everything is going.

Most of all, I love that this fast helped give me a second chance at motivation and happiness. I can’t wait to see what is in store for me next.




Morning of Day 5

Weight as of Day One (April 15th): 341.8 lbs

Weight as of today: 333.4 lbs

Weight lost: 8.4 lbs

Total weight lost since March 25th: 21.6 lbs

Last night I decided to go to bed pretty early for a Friday night. I was in bed by 8:15pm, and slipped right into dream land. Much to my argument, mom decided to wake me up at 5:30am for our walk. Now, I like to sleep in on the weekends. It’s my favorite weekend activity, and I don’t like it to be interrupted. Except, it’s impossible to ignore mom and just go back to sleep. (lol). So, I got out of bed, pulled my tennis shoes on, and started walking. Chloe was very excited to be awake and outside, so I guess that was good enough for me.

We walked about a mile total, and it was kind of nice to hear the birds and watch the sunrise, even through the clouds. Walking an extra half mile felt good, if I have to admit it. My legs felt nice and stretched, and it was nice to get a little more fresh air. It is, however, still a bit chilly outside. Hopefully it will warm up this week!

I came home and weighed myself, and I just honestly can’t believe I have lost nearly 10lbs in just a few days, not to mention 21.6lbs total in less than a month. I feel really great, and I feel pretty well on my way to my goals. I’ve lost  little over the first 5% that I needed to lose, and now my next goal is to be a little over my 10%, which would be 305lbs. I can’t wait to say I’ve lost 50lbs! From there on out, I’ll just focus at 15-20lbs at a time. That’s easier for me to deal with than my overall goal, which is still daunting sometimes. BUT! I have less than 200lbs to lose now 🙂

So, my juicing schedule was REALLY weird yesterday. I pretty much had to choke down my breakfast juice, and didn’t drink any juice the rest of the day, because I wasn’t hungry. I drank water, but I couldn’t stomach any more juice. I didn’t even juice anything for dinner! It was weird, but I figured that if I wasn’t hungry, then I shouldn’t push myself. I juiced this morning, but definitely need to buy some more stuff before lunch. I go through TONS of cucumbers every day. Seriously. I probably use 4 or 5 per day. Just another excuse to visit my favorite produce stand!

Yesterday my cravings for food were probably the worst they have been this entire time. People were talking about pizza, Starbucks, and all sort of other things. Then when I got home, all I wanted to do was sit on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn and watch Netflix in my sweats. And mom ate eggs and toast in front of me, which is my absolute favorite meal. It was hard, but when my stomach didn’t rumble, I knew there was no point to wanting those foods if I wasn’t hungry anyways. It did make me take a look at WHY I wanted those foods – I wanted them because they sounded good, and they are comfort food for me. I liked being able to realize that and ignore the cravings, even if it was difficult.

I feel really good today, and I feel more empowered to keep going. I love seeing the results on the scale and feeling like I have tons of energy. It’s already a self-confidence booster for me to know that I’ve gotten this far. This seems to be one of the longest and most successful times I have stuck to my weight loss journey, and I’m very proud of that!

Well, that about gets you caught up to everything. I’ll be doing a lot of blog reading today! Talk to you all soon 🙂



Day 3 of juicing: Temptations

Weight as of Day One (April 15th): 341.8 lbs

Weight as of today: 335.7 lbs

Weight lost: 6.1 lbs

Total weight lost since March 25th: 19.3 lbs

WOW! Every time I look at those numbers, I get so excited. I’m pretty convinced that juice fasting is the greatest thing that ever happened to me!

Okay, now for today’s progress. I don’t know what the universe is trying to do to me, but today definitely tested me to limits that I couldn’t have ever dreamed of. I’m feeling really great today – lots of energy, mind clearing, and not hardly hungry at all. At work, my supervisor decided to bring donuts to our meeting. The smell actually made me sick to my stomach, and so did the thought of eating one. I was able to get through the meeting alright and without incident. But…

…there was a random pizza party for my department, and it was held RIGHT NEXT TO MY FREAKING DESK. My stomach started feeling horrible as soon as I caught the first smell. I didn’t want to eat it, but I couldn’t escape it. My whole floor smelled like pizza, and I couldn’t leave my cubicle. And, as if THAT wasn’t enough of a fresh hell for me…there are ice cream sundaes afterward.

There is a conspiracy…I’m pretty convinced of it.

Giving in and eating any of it of course wasn’t an option. It wasn’t even a thought. I love the progress I’m already seeing in myself, and I wouldn’t want to ruin it over a few slices of pizza or a scoop of ice cream. In fact, I know that if I were to have eaten it, I’d be so sick and would completely regret it. Why do that when I can drink my juice and have no regrets at all?

*sigh* Aside from that, I did awesome today. I don’t even feel like I’m fasting. It just feels like a normal day, normal hungry…The only thing that isn’t normal is having so much more energy! I’m awake, I’m focused, and I’m happy. Well, except for the above issues about pizza…But otherwise, my attitude is great. I don’t remember the last time I felt like this before!

I have a feeling that if I can make it through today, I can make it through any part of this fast. Today is definitely a day of temptations, and it  was a fantastic accomplishment to have gotten through it. This just keeps getting easier, and I keep getting happier. What’s not to love?

I’ll be posting again with more progress tomorrow. See ya then 🙂


Day two of my juice fast

Well, hello!

So, as I said about two weeks ago, I’m back to the good ol’ weight loss regimen again. It’s felt so great to be back on a good track, and I’m going stronger than I ever have before. Just ask my mom…she’ll tell ya!

To start from the beginning of my latest antics, Sunday I watched a documentary called “Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead”. It was a wonderful movie about how this man changed his life and others by fasting and only drinking fresh fruit and veggie juices for 60 days. He lost around 100lbs and completely gained his life back. I was so inspired! I talked it over with mom, getting her opinion and ideas about fasting, and decided that I would give it a shot. Monday night after work, I visited my local produce stand and stocked up. I researched different websites and made sure I wanted to do this. Yes, I need this.

My morning yesterday started with about 20 oz of fresh juice, containing orange, apple, grapefruit, cucumber, carrots, ginger, and spinach. I drank part of it before work, and the other part when I got to work. I brought along about 36 oz of juice that was more veggie based for my “lunch” to be able to drink to get me through the day. While for the most part everything had gone fine, let me tell you…I was STARVING. I had a headache, my stomach hurt, and I was pretty sure this was the dumbest thing I had ever tried. I was pretty much resolving that I wasn’t going to continue. I got home, juiced right away, and felt a little bit better.

This morning was a completely different story. I woke up surprisingly refreshed, with very little aches and pains. I didn’t think much of it until mom and I were done with our walk and I felt like I could walk for another hour. I was awake and focused…I felt great! By the end of the afternoon at work, my attitude towards juicing had completely changed. My headache was wearing off, my stomach was no longer trying to eat my other organs, and I felt my mind clearing a bit, as if a fog had lifted. It’s a bit after 6pm, and I’m not even hungry. Of course, I still have to juice tonight, but I’m not starving, and I don’t have any urge to eat at all.

I don’t honestly know how long my fast with last. I will for sure do at least 10 days, but whether I go further or not is still undecided. I may go all the way up to 30, but that will be decided later. I’m already seeing results! When I got on the scale Monday, I was 341.2 lbs (I was 355 lbs beginning March 25th), and this morning, I weighed in at 338.6 lbs. HOLY FREAKING WEIGHT LOSS, BATMAN! This detoxing stuff is AWESOME! But, it’s not just about the weight loss. I feel better already…I feel like my body is washing away all the toxins that have built up, giving me a clean slate. And it’s only day two!

I’m really excited to continue with my juice fast, and I can’t wait to see how I feel tomorrow. If you’ve ever fasted before like this, let me know! I’m definitely looking to connect with more people and learn new recipes/ideas.

I need to go juice my dinner, but I hope everyone is doing well! And THANK YOU for the warm “welcome back!” I missed you guys 🙂



Update and Review

On Wednesday Elysia and I headed over to the Paramount Theatre in downtown Seattle to see Jillian Michaels in person for her Maximize Your Life tour.  The tickets were purchased as a birthday gift to Elysia and I had paid what I considered to be a small fortune for VIP seating.  I would like to start off by discussing how disorganized either the show producers were or the Paramount folks themselves but once inside the first set of doors it was a cluster.  The first thing I noticed as Elysia and I waited for the second set of doors to open was a woman in line with an orange wrist band.  Something told me that this was important and so I politely asked her if she was a VIP ticketholder, yes she was, and she went on to give directions to the VIP check-in table.  We chatted for a moment and I told her that no one had made us aware of the check-in procedure and she responded with “They didn’t tell anyone!”  What?!?  Wow, I wasn’t feeling so VIP at that point.  Elysia and I winded our way back through the growing crowd to the check-in table.  The VIP tickets included a take home gift and Elysia and I had wondered if it would be her new book or perhaps a workout DVD and we surmised with anticipation.  Upon check-in we were given an envelope and in that envelope contained the very disappointing take home gift…a 27 minute audio cd of Jillian Michaels hitting some topics that I believe were mentioned at the event.  I say “I believe” because after the first 3-4 minutes I lost interest and didn’t even notice it playing.  I was disappointed to say the least.

The doors opened….

This was my first visit to the Paramount and I am quite surprised that the Maximize Your Life tour was booked here considering Jillian has a large following of overweight individuals. With that being said, I had to be creative in shoving my fat ass behind into a seat seemingly meant for a 12-year-old. Imagine that for 3 1/2 hours! As other VIP ticket holders began to sit down we spread the word to anyone who did not have their little orange paper band that they needed to go check in, they were all grateful for the heads up and they, too, shared that they were never told and how ridiculous that was!  Along comes Jillian who begins her show basically telling everyone that this was nothing we haven’t heard before, she was right.  There was enough humor in the first half to hold my attention but by the second half I found myself dosing off repeatedly.  Elysia sincerely enjoyed the show and that is exactly what the purpose was, however, sadly I have received more motivation out of some of the audiobooks that I have listened to in my car than I did the Maximize Your Life tour.  Jillian is without a doubt an incredible trainer and I am certain that one on one she would be an excellent motivator, I just wasn’t motivated by her on stage.  What I did take home from the event was the reminder to create exit strategies in my life and do what I love…it was good to be reminded of that, even though, as she mentioned, it was nothing new.

So what is new then?

Tomorrow I will have completed 3 weeks of Weight Watchers and I am already down 15.2 lbs. *pats self on back.  I will continue to say that I am very impressed with this ridiculous concept of “points” but the shit program works!  It is a real eye opener when you truly realize what a weight loss portion size is.  The freaking amazing thing about Weight Watchers is that you can eat whatever the hell you want.  The only catch is as long as it is within your allotted points for the day.  What I have worked hard to do is to keep almost all processed foods out of my daily diet.  I have to say though that there is one weight watchers food dessert item that I find myself eating like it is the last food that I will ever consume and that is the Weight Watchers Dark Chocolate Raspberry popsicle.  OMG…I eat these like the owl who is looking for the center of a Tootsie Pop!  Who would have guessed that they are only 2 points!  THANK YOU WEIGHT WATCHERS!

Today Elysia and I watched the movie Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and let me tell you that was more motivation in life than VIP tickets.  If you are looking for something to change your thinking, this is an excellent option.  In fact, Elysia was so motivated by it that she is beginning a 10 day juice fast tomorrow!  The thing that I am trying to stay motivated with is my job search.  My contract with a large wireless company is ending soon and it is back to the drawing board for me.  I need to find how to market myself with what I love and that is writing!  Yeah, I still have big dreams!




No More Wining

I had the kind of day at work where one of the few things on my mind was coming home and pouring myself a nice glass of merlot, turning on a little jazz and kicking back.  I pulled out my handy-dandy Weight Watchers App and began my quest to see how many points a glass of red wine would be.  Hmmm… 4 points.  I sulked for a moment and then I pilfered through the app trying to find out how much a shot of vodka would be with a nice cold can of diet 7-up….hmmm….4 points.  After cursing Weight Watchers and every vineyard from Washington to Italy for not making a wine worth fewer points, something mind-boggling hit me…I had made the decision that there was no way in hell I was going to sacrifice a food point for liquid fermented grapes.  Well now, that is something new!