11 | February | 2012

Even though the sun set about two hours ago, knowing the ocean is right outside my window definitely brings me comfort. It’s been a terribly long and emotionally rough week, and getting away for the weekend and escaping to the coastline was just what I needed.

Long story short, I broke up with my boyfriend. It was harder than I thought it would be, but the relationship simply couldn’t continue. I’m trying very hard not to dwell on it, so I’m not going to make this post all about him. After all, that’s probably what he would want, right? Don’t give the enemy attention? Yeah, something like that…

Anyways, so, I’m focusing on me. Right now, I’m having a wonderful glass (actually…it’s a hotel paper cup…not even a red solo cup…) of Three Olive Bubblegum flavored vodka, and I’m enjoying a relaxing weekend at the ocean with my mom. Come Monday, I’m ready to face everything knowing that this breakup has made me stronger. It’s time for a few changes, and really time for some growing up.

I’ve made it a very clear goal to be back in school by Fall of 2013 to (finally!) study Culinary Arts at the local community college, and to specifically study to be a pastry chef. It’s *literally* all I can think about; how can I get the tuition in time? How long will it take? Where do I want to work when I graduate? I’m actually quite impatient that I’m waiting til 2013, but I know it will be much easier if I can have the time to save up money for it. It’s really all I have wanted to do since I was little, but I was driven away from it when I went to a math and science high school. This is something I truly can’t wait to start.

Next focus? Weight loss. I feel like I’ve sung this song before is so many different versions, but I’m determined to find the right notes to hit this time. Mom’s been juicing lately and it’s been working wonders for her. Her skin looks amazing, and she’s lost a ton of weight. Coupled with using the elliptical, and I’m really hoping to make huge strides in finally controlling my weight. If I’m completely honest with everyone, I have to admit I’ve gained too much weight lately. Moving out and being on my own made it so easy to buy cheap, terrible-for-you foods, and I completely regret the decision. I don’t know exactly what my routine will end up being, but I am turning to mom for help. As long as I can get it out of my head that this isn’t an overnight fix, and keep myself focused, I should be able to get into new, better habits soon.

Those are really the two biggest goals in my life right now, and I think it’s finally time I buckle down and get started. Being at the ocean the past two days has really given me time to reflect on what I want, and where I want to be, and this breakup really opened my eyes to what I could be doing with my life. At the age of 21, what better time than to be selfsih and really get to where I want to go. The grand openness of the ocean reminded me that there are endless possibilities.