Make It Go Away

It is that wonderful day of the year that makes me want to stay in bed and pull the covers over head….

VALENTINE’S DAY!

For me, this Hallmark holiday couldn’t be any better if someone tossed me in boiling water and fed my remains to a shark.  I was going to write all sorts of negative things about the day (it is my least favorite day of the year) but because I am a glass is half full kind of person I have decided to write about the things I love…

1. I love my kids even though I am certain they are just trying to break me.
2. I love pizza – I don’t even think love tops pizza, well in my experience it doesn’t.
3. I love Veuve Clicquot…this just rocks my tiny little world.
4. I love sunrises and sunsets…even better if they are over the ocean or mountains.
5. I love tiny animals, big ones are great too, but there is just something about cuddling a tiny little chihuahua that makes my heart melt.  I have two that I cuddle daily, the third one is barely alive.
6. I love Dove dark chocolate – my gosh this stuff should be illegal, keep it far away from me.
7. I love snow, the more the better.  Snow brings back some wonderful memories of ice-skating on frozen lakes and snowmobiling…I love that no two are alike and each one that falls is something remarkably different.
8. I love that Ben & Jerry’s made Schweddy Balls ice cream, thank you for taking such a hilarious marketing risk.  Once you have Schweddy Balls, it is hard to grab anything else.
9. I love Dolce & Gabbana purfume (the one with the red top) and I am so damn angry they discontinued this. Now what am I gonna do!??
10. I love the ocean, it heals my spirit.
11. I love Christmas – the music, the lights, the trees, the kindness.
12. I love Apple products – thank you Steve Jobs…I love that the release date of the new iPad has been leaked.
13. I love fireplaces – curling up on a cold evening in front of the fireplace with my tiny dogs, yep, love it.
14. I love my Nissan Juke – My BOXHERO plate, even better.  : )
15. I love brownie batter – OH MY GOSH YES!!!
16. I love liver and onions – don’t hate, this stuff is so darn good!
17. I love music – From Smooth Jazz, Pop to Rap, I love it all – Darn Whitney Houston you were too young to leave us.
18. I love fireflies.
19. I love fall when the leaves change and my world is full of color.
20. I love the nail salon – yay for getting spa time!
21. I love coffee with French Vanilla Creamer.
22. I love white popcorn.
23. I love the Twilight series – Yeah, I know it is creepy that I like dead men who drink blood but if the dead man sparkles and still looks that hot dead, well then what can I say.
24. I love it when the scale goes down!!!
25. I love each and every Godfather movie – it doesn’t get much better than that.
26. I love long, hot baths while sipping Bailey’s on the rocks.
27. I love ____, yep, I REALLY love that. ; )
28. I love writing.
29. I love my readers!
30. I love that the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his chest, with a knife. …Just making certain you were still reading.

There, instead of bashing this Hallmark holiday I will focus on a few of the things that I love.  : )

Cheers!

~Beth

This is for the Birds

Birds have got to be on the top of my humor chart.  I love to watch these highly intuitive creatures and the stranger thing is they seem to enjoy watching me.  As I opened the trunk to my Juke and pulled out a bag of popcorn seagulls from miles around gathered to share.  Elysia was almost terrified that I would risk being pecked to death but I have been married for much of my adult life which is essentially the same thing.  No fear here!

When I brought out the popcorn my new friends were quite excited and it was like the old Alfred Hitchcock movie minus the gore.  I was relieved that they were enjoying the organic, lightly salted brand that I had purchased.  I think Elysia was even more horrified that I was giving up the popcorn to my new winged friends.  “GET IN THE CAR MOM, THEY ARE COMING AFTER US!”  I reassured her that the seagulls were not going to kill us on the beach (no more tv for her).  Elysia was pretty scared of the birds, I guess that Finding Nemo MINE! MINE! MINE! scene went deeper into her psyche than I had previously thought.

I was like the bird man of Alcatraz out there on the beach and loving minute of it.  Elysia, on the other hand, wasn’t so thrilled with the whole idea of being surrounded by my new friends who were following me everywhere.  I think she was just jealous that everyone was just flocking around me. Get it?  Flocking round me? *slaps knee laughing.  Don’t hate, that was funny and you know it.

Elysia and I had a nice little getaway and I even made another friend.  He deceptively had me convinced he was Captain Morgan (I should have been wise to the hook on his right hand and the fact that he didn’t assume the Captain’s pose) but I trust too easily.

This was the first mother/daughter trip that Elysia and I have ever had and it was a lot of fun.  I can’t say that I stuck to my diet even though I did take the juicer with me on the trip and used it once.  Sadly there is a pizza place at the ocean that I love….it gets me every time. You can see in that photo exactly where it lands, too!  Darn!

My sentiments exactly Ralph!

Cheers!

~Beth